Not quite Friday, but here’s my prayer…

I have missed you!

I have missed this!

We welcomed our precious Simon Thomas Lehn in the wee hours of the morning on June 17th. We couldn’t be more grateful for this miracle in our household. At the same time, the transition – especially in the first couple months – was extremely exhausting and heart-wrenching.

Like his older sister, Simon has suffered from severe reflux disease and was in terrible pain because of it. All of you have done and would do whatever it takes to comfort someone you love, and so you know what this is like – the seemingly endless search from point to point with no clear “landing spot” as you seek what will bring relief and answers.

After a couple months, Simon became a different baby. Whether it was the medications finally taking effect or the shifts in my diet or the maturation of his body or some other healing gift from God’s tender hands, we don’t know. And we don’t need to know. The blessing of breathing (and sleeping!) more easily was enough.

            Until I broke my ankle!!!

Following a doctor’s appointment, I was carrying Simon out to the parking lot. amid a drizzling rain. With Simon strapped in the car seat (we know how light those things are), a loaded diaper bag, and my purse, I completely missed the curb over which I stepped, flipping my ankle and bringing all of me and what I carried forcefully to the ground.

What has long been one of my greatest fears has now actualized in what seems to be one of the worst-timed seasons. I haven’t been able to bear weight at all on my ankle, and will be transitioning to weight-bearing in a boot soon. Of course I asked the doctor about running and the answer was, “four months.”

Our friends and community of faith kicked into gear immediately. Crutches were sitting outside our front door when we returned from the ER. Dinner arrived at 5:00 p.m. that evening. Another friend came after work to help get Eden in the bath tub and to bed.

Through daily life, God is asking of me a whole new depth of surrender. I’m challenged with questions about where I really find my identity. I’m forced to sit in the stillness, the quiet, and not be able to move – HARD.

My new hashtag has become #dailymanna as I experience God’s enoughness and goodness. My only goal is to live as best I can another day. My crutches have become, in a strange way, a kind of sacrament. As I press my entire weight into these blasted crutches, hobbling around our home with four flights of stairs, I’m reminded of who is carrying the weight of my weary, worried soul.

After the accident, I lamented to a friend my incapacities and long haitus from running. She said, “I pray you can keep your gaze above the current waves to see your Savior as the one who gives power to walk on water, even if you can’t run.

And so I’m trying to fix my gaze. Lifting with my eyes the hearts of so many others whose lives have been turned upside down recently in catastrophic ways. People facing hurricanes – literally, emotionally, spiritually, all of the above.

 

***

Sustainer of my broken body

and humbled spirit,

 

When I feel overwhelmed and

want to hide,

 

When I feel trapped and

want to escape,

 

When the cleansing tears of

dependence,

loss of control,

and fear

wash me over….

 

I come back to today, today, today.

 

I open needy hands

for daily manna.

 

I look for the joy in this

because of what you are building

in me.

 

And I scrawl some more

on ever-growing list

of your faithfulness in the

path toward healing.

 

My heart can sing,

can cry,

can hold the linking arms of faith and hope

through this crucible of transformation.

Use it for good.

Use it for good.

Use it for good.

Amen.

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “Not quite Friday, but here’s my prayer…

  1. Hi Arianne,
    I do love this post! But I really love the photo of you with Simon! It is wonderful.
    Glad to hear Simon is improving, you got to post and I do hope your ankle will heal on schedule!
    I love your friend’s response to keep your gaze above…
    cyndi

    Like

  2. Bless you, my friend! Even in your brokenness you write words of healing for mine. How I wish I could help you in some way in return. Thank you for your insights, your kindness, your beautiful smile & spirit….thank you for being who you are. Miss you.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. So sorry, Arianne, about your fall, but your loving Savior sent a miracle that your darling baby, Simon was tucked safely in before the accident. His acid reflux couldn’t have been easy, but the gorgeous photo of you radiating love and happiness is reassuring. It sounds as if you are more happily adjusted to new friends and surroundings, and the people in your congregation are thoughtful, as so many are in that Wilmette-Evanston area. When we visit our Evanstonians, I’ll try to contact you. I can provide a French meal and a play date with our adorable grandsons. God bless you,

    Like

  4. Oh Arianne Your strength, your faith, makes the world seem so much a better place. I feel your discomfort in your physical inabilities but have gained so much strength from your words. Your words and thoughts now will heal others who suffer also. Thank you for that and my prayers to you. Marianne Platt

    Like

  5. Arianne, how nice it was to see your written words again. My “oh no” was said out loud when reading about your misstep. You know with all the people who love you,that many healing thoughts are directed your way. Baby Simon is precious and miss seeing this beautiful family.
    Thanks be to God for your inspiration.

    Like

  6. Arianne, Thanks for your e-mail and report—congratulations on the birth of your son, and that you are coping with a broken ankle for God’s healing. We’ll pray that you heal quickly and praise the Lord for your son’s overcoming. As you move along Romans 8:28 will continue to come into focus—and keep on claiming Psalm 139:13-14 that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Remember that God has a knitting plan to follow for your healing and adjusting. A prayer that I read for today made me think of you…

    Almighty God, You are so good. You have again helped me. No matter how many times I stumble and fall, You are always there waiting to help me back up. How wonderful is Your patience towards me, never letting me go. Today I will turn from negative thoughts and focus on amazing promises You have for me. Thank You, Father. AMEN

    I also trust that your mother has come along well with her knee surgery. Recently I reread Psalm 77 and have it marked as a favorite of your father. He was such an inspiration and left us all a testimony to remember.

    Gratefully, Gene DeHoogh

    On Mon, Sep 25, 2017 at 2:48 PM, Ash and Starlight wrote:

    > ariannelehn posted: ” I have missed you! I have missed this! We welcomed > our precious Simon Thomas Lehn in the wee hours of the morning on June > 17th. We couldn’t be more grateful for this miracle in our household. At > the same time, the transition – especially in the first ” >

    Like

    • Bless and thank you, Gene, for this encouraging note! I loved that line – ‘Today I will turn from negative thoughts and focus on amazing promises you have for me’ Beautiful. Blessings to you, my friend.

      Like

  7. We cannot comprehend sometimes . . .His ways. May I say that you glorify Him Arianne with yor honesty. So much happening as you seek His will and His manna for every moent and every day. We clebrate Simon with you and thank God for the reprieve on the reflux! Thanking God too for his safety when you had that horrible fall.

    You are a precious gift dear Arianne!

    Like

  8. Pingback: A quick announcement/gift idea | Ash and Starlight

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s